I do not know if you know love? But I loved my sister, She was older, OK, so, I guess one is supposed to love the older sister, well, in China, at least.
You see? Jade was the pretty one. Now? They tell me I am pretty, but, then? Back then? It was always Jade. She was the pretty one. Talented, and first to die, for that reason?
How can I tell you what that did to me? To see her, tied up like that, beaten with hammers? To see her eyes rolling around looking for a socket and then, again? No blood? I learned that eyes to not bleed? Cynical? You have no idea what I learned from Zao.
Now, this part I am going to gloss over very quickly. But, it is a part of my life that I will never, do not wish to, ever, forget.
(Now, do not forget, I was naked and tied to a chair, there were four our them. armed and, obviously, highly dangerous? Ax was one person. Not “armed” I saw it. OK? I fucking saw what he did.) Zao made it OK.
Ok, now , moving on.
He picked me up. I was naked. He wrapped his coat-thing around me. And carried me. I cried. OK? Yes, sorry, After watching what he did? I cried. Sorry? Na, I went to grandmother in China.
Then, that phone call? I come to you. He said no. Did he have a choice? No. I was now a different “Cookie” to the one he saved.