Descartes: “I Think Therefore I Am”
er, am what? OH!!! I am Apple and make a fortune!! Get the app!! Too many feckn Chinese anyway!!
So, it started. I have decided, since I still do not know, to call him a “him” for lack of anything better. I asked him where he was from. I shall also dispense with the usual quotation marks as it shall be obvious who is speaking and since I am actually interpreting his noises into words.
He said, well, not here! Obviously!
Well, what could I say? I looked hard at him, and asked What? Are you seriously trying to tell me that you don’t come from planet earth?
As an answer, I received a reply that even I cannot argue against. He laughed, and said, well, do I look human to you? No, I said. Well, where do you think I come from? Well, obviously not earth, I exclaimed! Exactly, so, where IS exactly not earth, then? Well, said I, that would be (he really was stupid, this Alien) other planets, perhaps even from another solar-system.
He smiled at me then as an adult, a parent perhaps, would smile at a child. A rather backward child. Nodded that head thing. And said, can I ask you a question? (A retarded child?)
Sure, I replied, willing to show willingness.
OK. So, you are from Earth? Where is Earth? Since you know where it is not, do you know where it is?
Fuck me this was going to be a difficult one!! I said, that is not known. Our planet, this planet is in space. In our galaxy. I smiled.
OK, he said. You say space is infinate? So, where, (cartesian co-ordinates do not work) do you place this earth, this planet of yours in an infinite space? Are you not lost? Did you not say take a left at Andromeda?
I swear it grinned at me. It was laughing at me. I felt like an ant!
Yes, as well you may, it said.
What? It could read my mind?
Of course, it said, leering again! We could crush you at any moment! Ant!
It took a deep breath, rolled all three eyes and said, look, OK, I am not, as you say, from Earth. So, can I ask you what this planet is like? How is it run? By whom?
Whoa!!! I said! That is three questions in one go!
Sorry, he said! OK, What is this place like?
OK, then we had our first actual talk.
Well, we have around 30% landmass and around 70% water, just like our human bodies, said I.
Oh, interesting he said. So, you are like the water?
Oh yes, everyone knows that! We are exactly like the water, in fact, there are scientists who say we CAME from the water!
What is a scientist? He asked?
Don’t be silly, I said, even you must have scientists!
So, what is a scientist, as opposed to, er, not a scientist? he insisted.
Well, mostly, scientists do experiments, work things out using maths and physics and chemistry etc, know mostly, or try to work out how things work, whereas people who are not scientists do not know of these things. (Or, are not allowed to know about such things!)
So, Scientists rule your world?
No, I laughed, God rules our world!
And, what is God? he asked?
Well, God is, well, it depends, you must just believe. He made everything, has a long white beard, is a white man, lives in heaven, sends you to burn for ever in Hell if you do not believe in him or do bad things. And, to date? We have, er, on Earth, over six thousand versions. You see, you see, we call it religion. Catholics believe their God is better, the Vatican (where all the Catholic paedophiles and despots, including the Pope live) charges gold, builds huge gold churches, owns most of the world’s property, paintings etc, and is the richest instutition on the planet. I should say, the Vatican has the largest library of books of knowledge of our species on the planet, but ,it is all a secret, and only a chosen few from within the church can have access to them! Of course, God, that is, the catholic God, who is obviously very rich, knows everything. )
Hang on, this “stuff” about humans, er, you are not “allowed” to know?
Er, no. We are not allowed. You see, there is, well, for lack of anything better, let me call it “normal Christianity.” These people believe more or less in the same God, but, some say he is against women as they do not allow women to become priests (neither do the Catholics, by the way) and some?
Well, let us just say there are many offshoots, some live very spartan lives, but all of them agree that if you do not do what their God wants then God (their God) is going to send you to hell, because you are born a sinner. Then, well, then we have the problem child of our day, not to mention before. That is called Islam, and is a religion of peace, because Mohamed, their prophet ,cut of the heads of anyone who did not believe in him, and, sadly, is still at it today! He said, basically, that he was Allah (God) and that he was the last one. Ever. Oh, and don’t even think about being a woman priest in the Islamic church. It is bad enough being a woman. Still, it must be said that before Mohamed? Women were priests, could even enter the same part of the same church as their husbands! But, that is all gone now. Because “Allah”, “God” by another name, told him everything and told him to write it down, or memorize it.
What? The Alien was frowning. He looked at me and asked. Why would this “God” thing say memorize it?
Oh, I said, that is easy, you see, God only ever tells all his secrets in the space of a few hours at most, to illiterate people in caves. Then, they write volumes and volumes of books that, well, to a “normal” reader? Would take years to read through. But, being illiterate, and in a cave no doubt, God “implants” all this important information into the brain of an idiot, to then write down somehow and share with “the people.” Don’t blame him, I said, after all, he must be getting older, because he has always had grey hair.
So, hang on, you are telling me that your people would rather believe in this white haired guy in the sky than your scientists, mathematicians, physicists and chemists? Why?
Why would they believe that?
Well, I guess because if they don’t then they will go to Hell?
Where is this, Hell?
Hell is, and I pointed downwards.
But, you live on a globe, right?
Well, I smiled, that depends too! There are some who say our earth is flat!
What? he asked, frowning? Flat?
OK, I said, nobody said this was going to be easy, so, question and answer time!
Who says the earth is round?
Well, if you look at anything else in the Universe, it is round, so, is this the only non-round planet?
He looked at me as if I were sick.
OK, leave that one. Next. What do you think of binary-sun-systems?
Well, I DO know that they are the most common type of star-formation in our, and other Universes? As in, every other star we have found? Is a binary system.
But, your sun is not?
Er, no. NASA says no. (Well, they DID admit to a planet X, years ago, but they have since retracted that. And, we KNOW, because they tell us, that humans (homo-sapiens) are only, at most, er, 4000 years old.
Who are NASA?
Er, the hairspray shop of America! I laughed! Well, I had to laugh, I could still see them, apparently on board the International Space Station, hair-sprayed hair not moving an inch as they, er, floated to the noise of jet engines outside. You would think that, (like that famous video of the guy hammering on the moon, to the wonderful sounds of the hammer hitting metal, almost in time to the wind-moving flag? ) that someone would have told them, there IS no sound in space! It is supposed to be a feckn vacum!
OK I said, this is going to get really difficult! I think I should just talk? And if I say something unclear? You just ask. OK?
OK, he said, and off we went to the races.
meanwhile, in Yeman..
Only a few, er, Hitler? Mao? Kahn? Pinoche? why?
You know? “They” now know if you are using one? And will not allow you to visit their tracking sites? Because, “IF” you use these things, and know how to? Then THEY cannot track you. So, my advice? IF you see, “disable your adblock to view this site,” or “you are using a VPN, this is not allowed,” or, “this is not an EU site that forbids what we do, so, let us track you!!!” shite? My advice? Don’t ever go back. Is all. Look it up elsewhere.
Worst? Are the big ones? Especially Alphabet ( you know them as Google)
See, I started a writing course (a while back now) because? Well, another grammar book arrived yesterday. Now, “they” were “complaining” that I used almost everything incorrectly, and my spelling was “American?”
Guess what? They were right! So, I “have” to post some things. But, this you can know: Talks with an Alien? My next novel? Book thing? Not, How to Kill Your Father? (The other book, novel!) is wonderfully coming along.
(Of course, a really smart person would ask, how come an Austrian speaks such good Englisch? Or, English? But, ( who said, never start that way?!) who are they? lol!)
Posted on another one first! But “had” to post this for you here.
Is it not nice to see people just being NICE to each other? Love it!!
Combine, THIS is why I wrote my own partnership program? (In C) because, online? it says, these two are 54% compatible? (probably because she is Taurus and he is a Leo? ie, sun square? rubbish!!!)
(See, maybe I should explain? Every time I see a person I like in a movie? (and, I watch a LOT of movies!!!) I look up the astrology, IF I am attracted.. Now, THAT combined with my programming + I actually DID write a partnership program for other people? see, now? I KNOW better!!!! )
This means that now? I can with GREAT certainty say, before I look up, what it is.. where the moon/venus/mars/pluto/jupiter must be.. and? guess what!!!
Just, find and watch the movie, Dark Waters.
Like, really, YOU are full of C8. Shake your head and hope it does not fall off.
ja, they were fined, what? in $millions, before paying out around $680 Million? But, a lot? lol!!! They make over $1 BILLION per year.. Go figure.
Is it just me? Or is Hollywood really made of (old) sugar, spice and things not nice? Like, cartoons? Really? A-Xman, (letters, come on, A through X!!!) and not a woman in sight, unless she is VERY pretty and taking her clothes off.
American Movies? As soon as I see that these days? I know it will be shit. Easy. Am I wrong? As for the “series?” Er, like Hunting Hitler? Ditched after season three? Like SO many american things? Get into it? Someone, somewhere decides it is not making “enough” (define) money? and it is pulled? Really? Especially the ones that promote questions? (ie, funded by the pentagon to promote US foreign “policy,” joke!!!!
So, na, NETFLIX? I have heard of. Did they not team up with Amazon to make $billions by selling shite movies?